old men drowning in free merch.
At some point in Bucky’s campaign to embarrass Steve to actual death about the whole Captain America shtick, Steve comes to a realization: the only way to get Bucky to stop is to just out-embarrass him.
This leads to a two-week period known later as the Great Merchandise Wars, during which the two of them battle over how much ridiculous, badly dyed merch one can wear. It ends in a draw when Steve announces his plan to wear a pair of the ugliest neon sweatpants ever made to a senator’s banquet, and Sam calls the contest off under pain of death.
Unfortunately, Steve and Bucky are left with mountains of horrifyingly red, white, and blue patterned merchandise. And because Steve refuses to “throw out perfectly good clothing, Buck, it might be ugly but I spent good money on this,” they end up just wearing it around the house.
It’s not funny, Sam.
(Okay, it’s kind of funny.)
that’s a nice addition, but i’d just like to point out that if this happened, they’d absolutely need to have the following items as well:
Shall I send the rec this absolute delight of a fic by @need-more-meta to go with this post
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