“Scrawled right there in huge red letters,
pockmarked by brick dust and written over
a dozen different bits of paper as well the wall,
was the word DISOBEY.”
Art inspired by Memory by emilyenrose.
Read it and weep.
[art and text by paperflower86]
Memory by orphan_account
My Summary:
James the ex-Winter Soldier has no real memory of Steve or his life pre-Hydra. When Loki's staff comes into his hands, the situation reverses. James transforms into 1945 Bucky who has no memory of his Winter Soldier days. When Bucky learns the awful truth, he uses the Mind Stone from Loki's staff to turn himself back into James, so that James can continue to fight Hydra.
Excerpt (Chapter 1):
It took Steve a moment to understand the way his throat dried up and his stomach lurched at the serious look on Bucky's face. Fear, real fear, wasn't something he felt all that often. "No," he said. "Bucky, stop. We'll talk about this."
Bucky shook his head. "I can't see a way around it, Steve," he said. "I thought he was crazy." Steve immediately opened his mouth to argue. Bucky ignored him. "I saw that apartment, and the way people acted around me, and I thought... I thought he had to be crazy." Bucky grimaced. "But he's not. It's what you were trying to tell me, wasn't it? He's not crazy, he's scared. He's scared shitless."
"He—"
"I'm scared shitless."
Steve was cut off mid-sentence, mouth still open.
"Hydra's still out there, aren't they? Hydra still wants him. Disobey," Buck said. "He's scared they'll take him back. He's scared it'll all happen again. But he's wrong, you know. It wouldn't be the same if they got him again. He knows how to fight them. He got out." Bucky licked his lips. "It wasn't him who broke in the first place, was it? It was me."
Steve made a wordless sound of protest. Bucky ignored it. "It was me. The guy I am right now. I'm the one who fell off that bridge, I'm the one who got captured—"
"Bucky—"
Bucky looked sick. "The way I see it? I'm the one who became the Winter Soldier. He's the one who stopped."
He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something else, and then closed it again. He looked pale and drawn. There were dark bags under his eyes. Steve stared at him, at the odd blue light of the stone reflected in his eyes and the slight tremble around the corners of his lips. His flesh hand was knotted tight in the pocket of James's jacket, and his metal fingers flexed next to his thigh. Steve stared at him. He couldn't think of a single thing to say that would make it not true.
