Bucky's Blog

[by kerolunaticat]

The gang will regret the day they taught Bucky how to use the internet. He started a blog.

Concept: Some jackass shows Bucky how to make a blog and it becomes really popular. Not because it’s the blog of James Buchanan Barnes, American Legend, War Hero, Infamous Assassin, Alleged Terrorist. Nobody even knows it’s his blog. It gets really popular because people think it’s a really great shitpost generator or something. Because Bucky is just a Weird Fucking Person and everything he posts on his fucking personal blog comes off as somewhere between dril and Jaden Smith and people are like “this is some quality garbage right here” and thus Accidental Memelord Bucky is born.

Bucky posts things like

“What is wrong with bananas. I ate a banana today and it was Wrong. America why”

“Every time I put on my eye makeup it gets bigger. My whole face is eyeliner now.”

“Why does friendship feel so much like punching”

“When I wake up in the middle of the night I am either thinking ‘who am I? does my life have meaning?’ or “did I already eat all of the plums?’”

“Why are you so grumpy” they ask me. they do not realize this is just my Face.”

“I know i said i would give my left arm for a cup of coffee but i am more awake now and i would like my arm back please”

“I guess I must have done something horrible in a past life. I mean. I definitely did something horrible in this life, so. “

[by yawpkatsi]

But when Sam becomes the new Captain America and Bucky's lover, things get really out of hand. It's like all Bucky's TMI filters short-circuit and he feels compelled to tell everyone everything . . . .

[by qouinette,

found here]

[found here]

Concept: Some jackass shows Bucky how to make a blog and it becomes really popular. Not because it’s the blog of James Buchanan Barnes, American Legend, War Hero, Infamous Assassin, Alleged Terrorist. Nobody even knows it’s his blog. It gets really popular because people think it’s a really great shitpost generator or something. Because Bucky is just a Weird Fucking Person and everything he posts on his fucking personal blog comes off as somewhere between dril and Jaden Smith and people are like “this is some quality garbage right here” and thus Accidental Memelord Bucky is born.

LIKEEE

He’ll post weird fragmented shit like:

why the hell are subway turnstiles like that now

and he’ll be like “there’s 30K notes on this but nobody answered my question what the hell” and he’ll be genuinely confused, or he’ll post something like:

cats are way too pointy they need to stop

and there’s like all this Discourse on that post about declawing and Bucky is like “what is that do they mean there’s a way to make t’challa less terrifying” and then he’ll post shit that’s way too personal like:

captain america just choked me with his cock for an hour it was great

and it gets analyzed to death because people are like “WHAT POLITICAL STATEMENT IS THIS SHITPOSING BLOG TRYING TO MAKE” and Bucky is like “no that’s just what happened it was really good” and Sam (current Cap) is like BUCKY YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT SHIT ON THE INTERNET IT’S NOT THEIR BUSINESS

(originally a reply to @oharecassidy but it needs to be on the main post!)

Then imagine Bucky just doubles down on everything that Sam tells him is too private.

-captain America likes when I jerk him off with my metal arm
-captain America let me give him a blow job at avengers tower last night in iron man’s lab (“Bucky I can’t believe you put that on your dumbass blog! I had to listen to Tony complain for like, an hour!”)
-“where can I buy red lingerie for my boyfriend before he gets home from his next mission?”
-“how should I tell my boyfriend that I spent $500 on lingerie for him?”
-I decided I’d eat him out for a while then tell him. I think it helped soften the blow.

-captain americas ass is so fuckign sweet in red lace you poor saps dont even KNOW “BUCKY STOP TELLING THE INTERNET ABOUT MY ASS THAT’S CREEPY”

ADDITION:

will commit further war crimes in exchange for fresh produce

And people are like “what do you mean further” or “didn’t this blog literally just reblog 50 photosets of puppies what the fuck” or “if this is a shitpost generator i think we have an I, Robot situation on our hands, y’all” 

[Dialogue between:

yawpkatsi and unclesteeb,

found here]

["bucky finally got some

of that falcon big butt"

by drjerkface]