[by saudade-lovers]
Author's Summary:
Bucky has loved Steve for a long time. After Endgame, Steve leaves anyway.
My Summary:
A heartbreaking short fic about internalized homophobia, angst, grief and mourning, incorporating some of the powerful poetic imagery of Crush by Richard Siken.
Excerpt:
An old man comes in Steve’s place and Bucky can hardly stand to look at him. He slides onto the bench and stares out at the lake, at the steam rising off the water into the chill air.
“You’re angry,” Steve says.
“Tell me you were happy,” Bucky says.
“I love you,” Steve says.
But if he does, it’s not in any way that Bucky can understand.
“Just tell me you were happy. Because I can’t blame you for wanting that. But if you were miserable I think I’ll hate you forever.”
“I was happy,” Steve says.
Bucky tries to feel grateful, but he’s having a hard time with that.
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