Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n Roll

[Steve by Andres Moncayo, found here]

Who says you can't go home? -- by neversaydie

My summary: Steve and Bucky are rock stars, lost in drugs, booze and closeted sex with each other. Steve treats Bucky like shit and Bucky is in despair.

Author's summary:

"I think I'm in love with you."

The hotel room smells like post-show sweat and sex, smoke twisting around the plush interior to collect at the ceiling like an omen. Bucky's leather jacket and Steve's pants are tossed on a chair, the rest of their clothes strewn across the carpet in careless heaps where they'd peeled them off still sticky from the stage and half-deaf from their own music. The hoarse words break the comfortable silence that had descended in the afterglow, and Bucky regrets letting them escape almost immediately as the calm atmosphere shatters under their weight.

"No." Steve groans, rolling over and stubbing his cigarette out on the nightstand. Bucky reaches out for him like he always does, but Steve is pulling away and getting out of bed before fingertips can brush his skin. "Don't say that."

[in which Bucky falls in love with his best friend, which is Against The Rules in their contract, and everything gets turned upside down]

Bucky by unknown artist, found here]

Excerpt:

If this can't be love then he'll have to take what he can get. And if that's getting high and fucking then it's better than nothing at all.

"Coke." Steve looks relieved that he's dropped the subject and Bucky's not surprised. His friend has learned to be calculating over the last few years, making choices for their careers with his head, not his heart. The kid who used to get arrested for protesting injustice is long gone at this point. Whatever he might feel for Bucky in return will have been weighed for pros and cons and placed firmly in the cons column, never to be brought back out. "Want some?"

"Yeah." Bucky rubs sweaty hands over his face and closes his eyes for a second. He's reaching that point of touring where the prospect of sobering up is scary because he's not sure what'll happen if he does, and the last thing he wants is to get the shakes and give Steve an excuse to stop being near him. "Cut me a line? . . . ."